James Blunt Sucks

So I usually don't do the bitter diatribe thing, but I had to say it. I do not understand how this guy can be the top download on iTunes. I mean, seriously, that "beautiful" song that is always on the radio is about him getting high, somehow ending up in a subway station (or probably a "tube stop"...since he's british or whatever), seeing a girl who is with another guy, wanting her body, she sees him sitting there totally stoned, he realizes he will never be with her, and continues in his high-ness. Wow. Every guy who gets high and loiters in subway/metro/tube stations leering at women should take notes from this guy and start writing music--they could all be rich and wasted instead of broke and wasted.

I was forced to listen to the CD on a road trip to SoCal w/ my little bro, whom I love terribly but who has poor taste in music... like the rest of the nation apparently. It made me want to start cutting myself and lie in a bathtub of warm water. I told my brother this, halfway joking. But really, the "music" was incredibly depressing, mediocre and unimaginative. Then I started snooping around the internet, and happened upon the music video for the song. And oh my goodness, the entire video is watching him commit suicide!! HE can't even stand his own music! All I can say is, if you think James Blunt is the next Bono, you should expand your musical horizons.

Thunderstorms

I love thunderstorms. There's something about the soft, steady patter of the rain on the window punctuated by the howling wind and a deep explosion of thunder. I can never get enough. It makes me wish I had a cozy library full of old dusty books and rich mahagony, and a deep red velvet chair to sink into with a hot cup of tea. Yes, tea and a fire in the fireplace... how lovely.

I guess for now my little green Bombay Company chair, purple chenile blanket, and fuzzy leopard print slippers will have to do. I should go make some tea, though... tea would be nice. And maybe I'll light the candles, just in case the power goes out. Wouldn't that be wonderful!

I relish these moments of solitude. My husband is amazing, and I could spend every waking moment with him and still want more, but every time I do have a moment to myself, I remember how much I love "me time."

Especially recently, some of the most incredible moments with my Savior have been in those unexpected times of quiet and reflection. God has been so faithful to us. I have never seen such obvious and timely answers to prayer as I have seen in the past week. It never ceases to amaze me how, even though He doesn't have to, God chooses to allow us to be a part of what He does. I loved how our pastor put it the other week: if He wanted to, God could do the whole Paul-on-the-road-to-Damascus thing when He wants to tell us something or when we go astray or lose perspective, but most of the time He doesn't. He teaches us to be sensitive to His still, small voice... through others, through His Word, through nature, through circumstances... how incredibly gracious He is to even allow us to know His heart, and even more to be used by Him to show others the love of Christ and meet their needs. How deep and wide and sufficient is His amazing grace!

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fulness of God." (Ephesians 3:17-19)

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, beng confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ...And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christto the glory and praise of God." (Philippians 1:3-6, 9-11)

I think the other reason I love thunderstorms is that they make me feel so small. When I hear the boom of the thunder and realize how many millions of tiny raindrops are falling every second, I am in awe that God, my God, has orchestrated when and where each one is to fall, and knows exactly where the next one will go. But what is even more amazing, He also knows the path of every storm, every cool breeze and hot wind, every soft shower and torrential downpour... He knows.

Mmmmm. What a wonderful, warm thought on such a cold and windy night.

Wedding and Honeymoon Pictures!

Here they are! We're supposed to get our professional ones in a couple more weeks, but these are the ones we have so far... enjoy!

Rehearsal Dinner...

Wedding!

Honeymoon :)

Grappling

That's the word all the "senior members" (professors) at ASP would use to talk about struggling to get your mind and heart around a difficult concept. I felt it was appropriate to use in this context.

Last night was one of the most fun nights I've had in a very long time. I went out to dinner with a bunch of my old friends from ASP at this great little Thai place on the House side (Capitol Hill for all you non-DCers)... Dave, Becky, Andy, Scott, Melissa, and a few significant others and friends. We shut down the restaurant!

It truly is amazing, though, even after not seeing them for many months, when you've gone through that program together, you instantly fall back into deep, insightful conversations as if you'd never left. I have never had friends like that before, where you don't have to waste your time on the "how are you" and "so what do you do" questions that are obligatory in DC, and can jump straight into conversations about Absolute Truth, how to fix the American health care system, and philosophies of marriage.

The question I have been "grappling" with for a while now is much less existential, but much more difficult. Dave and I had a brief conversation about it and decided to get together tonight to grapple with it further and without everyone around. He is also struggling with the same question:

What now?

We both spent a lot of time back in California with our families and friends... and loved it. His question to me was, "did you think about DC at all when you were there?"

My answer, as well as his, was a surprising "no."

I never thought that would happen. Last year at Christmas, when we had just left ASP and were in the process of moving to DC, it was all we could think about. We couldn't wait to get out of Fresno and get back to our favorite city in the world.

But now, it's almost a "been there, done that" feeling. My question is a little more urgent than his, only becuase I am now looking for a new job after the wedding, and could theoretically move back if Brian and I both found work. Dave probably wouldn't come back until August if he did. But even if we did go back, what would we do? Yet another question to grapple with. After having worked where we have and had the experiences we have, everything else seems like an anticlimactic decision... from the International Relations Committee, and a Presidential Healthcare Commission... to Fresno? Maybe LA, but that would still mean we were hours from many of our friends and family.

Observations

It's amazing how one's perspective on life changes as time goes on.

I feel like I've been in a strange place for a while, both spiritually and emotionally . It's strange, being on the other side of a dream that's been fulfilled. All my life, all I wanted was to live and work here in Washington. Living here has been exciting, stressful, wonderful, difficult, fulfilling and disappointing all at once. I've had this "is this all" feeling ever since I left ASP last year. That was an amazing experience, but even there I feel like I missed out on a lot of great relationships because of the demands of my internship and my relationship with Brian. I was at a different place in my life than most of the other people there, I think. I learned more about myself during that short time than at any other time in my life, but I still feel like I have so much more to learn.

To be continued...

It's Official! (Again)

Happy NEW YEAR!!! Brian and I just got back after being away from home for almost an entire month, and it is nice to be home.

The wedding was SO beautiful... it was truly everything we wanted it to be, I was so happy. My only regret is that we didn't videotape any of it, and I would have loved to have had our ceremony at least on video. When we were saying the vows that we wrote, Brian was in tears, and it was so meaningful. I was crying, he was crying, everyone was crying... it was so special. I never thought that after being married for a year I would be so emotional, but it was even more meaningful because our love for each other has grown so much through this last year. Standing up in front of everyone that we love so much and declaring to the world that even after a year of marriage, we still want to spend the rest of our lives loving each other, I was even more certain that he is and always will be my soulmate, the one the Lord created me for. God is so good. Hold out girls, don't settle for anyone but the absolute best that God has for you... it is SO worth the wait!! I never imagined that I could love someone as much as I love Brian, and I never imagined that we would actually love each other more as time goes on... it truly is incredible!

Then we danced the night away to our AMAZING swing band in the candlelight, and had such a great time seeing eveyone that we haven't seen in so long. It was wonderful. The only other frustrating thing was that we didn't get a single bite to eat the entire time, so we actually ended up driving through In 'N Out on our way to the hotel!! LOL!

I'm going to try to post some pictures soon of the wedding and honeymoon... We love you all so much and it was so great to see all of you that made it the wedding!! Open invitation if you ever want to visit DC!

xoxo
Mrs. Carolyn Wise (officially now!)

I Guess I'm Finally One of "Them"

This is a shout-out to all my fabulous DC friends now scattered abroad... DC misses you!!

You Know You're From Washington DC When...

You say you're from DC, but you actually live in VA or MD but are too tired to explain where. You don't consider exploding man hole covers to be an unusual occurrence. You know where the Pentagon really is but never bother to correct anyone about its location. When it takes you 45 minutes to drive 3 miles on I-66, 95, 395, 495, 50, 123, 29, or 270, it's a pretty good day. There are at least fifteen ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the weather, time of day, current political climate, terrorism road closures, and whether you are coming or going. You pay more money in parking tickets in a year than you do in medical bills, college costs and rent combined. You know that driving through Georgetown, you will hear the music of the car next to you louder than you can hear your own. "I got stuck behind a motorcade" is a common and real excuse for being late. "Finding a parking space" actually becomes an appointment on your calendar. (E.g.. 7:00-8:00 Gym, 8:30-9:00PM - find a parking space, 9:00-10:30PM - Dinner reservations.) You've never once been to Wal-Mart and don't even know if there is one. When you say you're going to the mall and you don't mean shopping. You never refer to the 'Metro' as the 'subway'. You elbow tourists out of the way on the Metro escalators to "gently" remind them to WALK LEFT, STAND RIGHT. Going to work early means being there by 9:00AM. You don't bat an eye at 500 politicians and businessmen in suits running like their lives depended on it just to catch a Metro that will be followed by another in 90 seconds. You call it Tar-jhay, not Target, and are well aware that the one in Alexandria is just a "tad different". When Washington National Airport is and will always be "WASHINGTON NATIONAL", not "Reagan National". You can tell by people's cars where they live and maybe even what neighborhood. You've claimed that there's nothing to do on a weekend night even when you have the entire nation's capitol to explore. You have the Metro map memorized, yet act like you don't know when someone asks you how to get to Metro Center. You meet someone else who says they're from the DC area and you realize they live two hours away from you. You notice that there's been construction on the same stretch of highway for the past 5 years and you've never see anyone working on it. You know you've crossed into Northern Virginia, without ever seeing a sign, only because your speedometer goes from 60 to 0. You know that Vietnam is no longer in the South Pacific, it's now been re-located to Seven Corners. The few times you have gotten lost in DC you have somehow ALWAYS ended up in Anacostia and every road out somehow leads back to Anacostia. You realize that I-395 is Northern Virginia's version of NASCAR. There is no such thing as North, South, East, or West on the beltway, it's just go "that" way!(Inner circle / outer circle) You go anywhere on the Eastern Shore, Rehoboth, Dewey, Ocean City, Skyline Drive, or the Outer Banks for vacation and everyone you meet is from DC Snow means rain to you Ice on the roads just means that you pay more attention to other cars, but still go 75 mph on the highways You can see the national cathedral from almost anywhere You know at least 2 rowers You know that Georgetown is NOT only a school You consider Northern VA to be in no way similar to southern VA You know which bridges to cross to get to Maryland or VA You actually know what goes on in Dupont circle You can't go to Tysons Mall without seeing someone you know!! You have a few friends who don't know what their parents do...It's Top Secret government work. People don't ask you if Chevy Chase is named after the actor. You can harmonize perfectly with the alert for "Doors Closing" on the Metro You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from DC.

Aww Fresno

I am thoroughly entertained... :)

You Know You're From Fresno When...

You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a "Tri-tip" comes from. You think salsa goes on everything. Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion. Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear out before the end of April. The best restaurants in town start with "El" or "Los." You think $400 a month rent is way too high. You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink. People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70. The pool can be warmer than you are. You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance. You still don't know your way around downtown. Anywhere "and 99" is too far away. You think you're better than people from Clovis. Someone mentions the Fair and your thoughts immediately turn to Cinnamon Rolls. You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in December. The whole town shuts down at 11:00. You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc. You hadn't been to Manchester Center in 10 years until the movie theater opened. You never knew how you managed before River Park. Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell them, "Just wait." You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5. You swear there was an orchard there last week, where now there are houses. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Fresno.

Only in DC

...and then there are times when I can't imagine living anywhere else. Today I sang in my first concert with the Choral Arts Society of Washington (www.choralarts.org), with the National Symphony Orchestra, in the Kennedy Center. Wow, I am still not over it. The soloists were phenomenal, the crowd was great, Norman is amazing, the whole concert was surreal. I could hardly believe I was standing up there performing.

Yet another thing to add to the list of things I will never be able to experience if I move back to Fresno...

...and the debate goes on.

Wow

Blogging... I guess it was inevitable that I would start one eventually. I really don't have any great aspirations for this one. I see it as merely a chance to share all of those wonderful things I think but don't say.

Brian and I moved into our new house 4 weeks ago, and there are still boxes everywhere, scattered through the hallways and in all the wrong closets. Aretha sure sings good cleaning music. I think I will go back to cleaning now. I can't stand clutter.

I promise this will get better. I'm just a little worn out right now. And because I'm basically OCD, I just spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to change background colors with html. Good times.