I Wish I Spoke French

I think I'm going to learn.

*sigh*

Life never ceases to amaze me. People are even more spectacular. Friendship is such a fascinating thing. How is it that, even after years of neglect, a friendship can come back to life with a single, soul-illuminating conversation? And how is it that another takes even more years to ressurect it than it took for it to die?

I can't even begin to name all the emotions that have been flooding through me the past two weeks. I feel like there is so much more I want to do in Washington, and I am getting sadder about leaving every day. I wish there was a way for us to stay until the end of the year, or even just the summer. I feel like my time there is not complete yet, and I don't know what that means, but as we were lying in the grass staring up at the blue sky and beautiful pink and white blossoms, watching the sun reflect off of the monuments, I could hardly keep from crying. There is such a deep unsettledness in the pit of my stomach that won't go away; even though I felt so much peace about all of this before, now I just feel like I'm mourning the loss of an old friend that I wish I had more time with.

The hard part is, I am thrilled about my new job. I met with them on Friday, and the people and the work are so amazing, I cannot imagine a more perfect position to be in. It's exactly what I want to do. I just wish I could do it in DC.

So now I must simply wait for all the pieces to fall into the right places, and trust that the direction we're supposed to take is made clear. I hate this feeling. I hate not knowing. I'm ready for a vacation from the stress of life.

Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the desert. By day the pillar of cloud did not cease to guide them on their path, nor the pillar of fire by night to shine on the way they were to take.... "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them".... They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat upon them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.... When he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

Breathe. Just breathe...